The Church Effeminate
Summary of Chapter 7
The Church is the household of God. It is not a club or a hobby, but the place where men gather under the rule of the Father. Jesus Christ, the Son, was a man. Paul told Christians to act like men, to stand firm, to be strong. The Church should be the forge where boys become men, where grace sharpens masculinity, not softens it. But it isn’t. Not anymore.
Men face a choice: keep their manhood or keep their faith. Many choose their manhood and walk away from the Church. The Church seems allergic to it. It’s run by women, even when men hold the titles. This happened because the Church forgot what a man is. Preachers act like "fops," Spurgeon called them—vain, soft, eager for female applause. They preach like white knights, craving the nods of agreeable women, confusing niceness with virtue.
When women steer the ship, churches drift into two traps. First, they welcome everyone who’s nice, even if they’re wrong. Second, they push out anyone who’s right but rubs people the wrong way. Women knit societies together; that’s good. But without men to set the boundaries, it curdles into cliques, gossip, and a hatred of hard truths. Churches stop being places where sin is confronted and become places where feelings are protected.
False teachers thrive here. They flatter. They avoid offense. They are smooth with words but sharp with hidden knives. Real men—those who speak plainly, who confront sin—don’t last long in such places. They get labeled divisive. Meanwhile, loud, demanding women find pastors eager to please them. The white knights oblige.
This isn’t new. It’s the old war between truth and comfort. Paul warned Timothy about people with itching ears, wanting teachers who tell them what they like. The Church today doesn’t just have itchy ears; it has a rash.
Men get squeezed into a false dilemma: deny their masculinity or deny their faith. Both roads are wrong. One leads to effeminacy, the other to apostasy. Some churches teach that being spiritual means hating your body, pretending gender doesn’t matter. That’s Gnosticism—an ancient lie dressed in modern clothes. Other men swing the opposite way, becoming pure materialists, living only for their appetites, denying any higher purpose. That’s just as old and just as deadly.
The Bible rejects both lies. Man is body and spirit, together. God made Adam’s body first, then breathed life into him. The resurrection proves our bodies matter. Men will be men forever, even in glory. Shame isn’t the problem. Sin is. Masculinity isn’t the disease. Corruption is. The Church should teach men to harness their strength, not amputate it. Christ redeems men, not into soft shadows of themselves, but into their truest form—strong, righteous, unashamed.
The Church Effeminate shames men for being men. But Christ doesn’t. He calls men to pick up their crosses, not their guilt. Real Christianity isn’t safe. It’s not polite. It’s a war, and men were made for it. The gospel restores men. It doesn’t erase them. Grace doesn’t make a man less manly. It makes him whole.
Questions for Reflection
How have you seen the Church help or hurt men in becoming stronger, godly men?
How do you handle the pressure to either act less like a man or to leave your faith behind?
What can you do to help your church be a place where men grow in strength and faith without watering down the truth?