The Necessity of Fraternity
Summary of Chapter 13
A man on a mission can’t run alone. A mission is like a train. It needs rails. The first rail is brotherhood. Without it, a man’s mission veers off, crashes.
This grinds against the grain of modern individualism. We praise the lone wolf, thinking solitude makes a man strong. Look at popular culture. It sells us the myth of the isolated man as the apex of masculinity. Take Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven.
William Munny is no hero when we meet him. He’s a worn-out hog farmer, a shadow of the violent man he once was. His wife “cured” him of wickedness and whiskey. He’s sober, repentant, but broken. When a young gun, the Schofield Kid, offers him a bounty job, he refuses. Munny isn’t that man anymore.
But life pushes. His farm fails. His kids need food. So he agrees—but only with his old friend Ned beside him. The mission falters. The Kid can’t shoot straight. Ned can’t pull the trigger. Munny gets sick. The town sheriff beats him, kills Ned. That’s when Munny picks up the bottle. The whiskey brings back the killer he used to be. Alone, fueled by rage, he seeks revenge. He slaughters with ease.
In the end, Munny isn’t a redeemed man. He’s just a deadly one. Is this the model of masculinity? The isolated anti-hero crops up everywhere. John Wick, Walter White—men unbound by ties, thriving in solitude. These stories grip us because they echo a lie we’ve swallowed: that true manhood blooms in isolation.
But isolation kills mission. Proverbs 18:1 says, “One who separates himself seeks his own desire; he quarrels against all sound wisdom.” Man wasn’t made to be alone. He needs two things: a woman and a band of brothers. A tribe stabilizes, directs, magnifies his mission.
We understand the woman part. Less so, male intimacy. Not the twisted kind our culture snickers about. Real, brotherly closeness. Think David and Jonathan. David mourned Jonathan, saying, “Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women.” Not romance. Brotherhood. Jonathan was David’s anchor in battle, his equal, his friend.
Brotherhood isn’t just nice to have. It’s vital. Look at The Magnificent Seven. Alone, they’re skilled but flawed. Together, they’re formidable. Their strengths mesh, their weaknesses covered. They make each other better.
Benjamin Sledge wrote, “Sometimes, I Miss War.” He hated war, but missed it because war gave him brothers. A mission. Purpose. It wasn’t the fight he craved, but the fraternity. He volunteered for a deployment that cost him his marriage—just to be with his brothers.
But brotherhood has dangers. It can twist. Proverbs 1 warns against falling in with sinners. Gangs form around bad missions as easily as good ones. The pull of belonging can drag a man down if he’s not careful.
Men are made for dominion. But dominion is a group project. Even Jesus didn’t send disciples out alone. Satan knows this, too. He builds his own gangs. They destroy, consume, rape, occupy. They mirror godly brotherhood, but invert its purpose.
The need for brotherhood is serious. It shapes us. A man without it is soft, fragile. Proverbs says, “Iron sharpens iron.” Correction happens in the forge of friendship. Men insult each other, fight, test one another—and bond through it. This isn’t cruelty; it’s how we grow strong.
True brotherhood isn’t just about companionship. It’s about correction. No correctability, no virility. Brotherhood makes a man better. But beware of “crab mentality.” Some men hate to see others rise. They pull them down. Envy drives them. A man must guard against this—in others and in himself.
How? Repent of envy. Don’t broadcast your self-improvement; just do the work. Start small. Accept correction, even from the envious. Ultimately, do everything for the Lord, not for applause.
Being good at being a man isn’t enough. Cain was masculine, but wicked. You can be skilled, yet lack godliness. But you can’t be godly without being good at being a man. Masculinity isn’t toxic; it’s twisted masculinity that poisons.
You need a gang. Not of crabs, but of brothers who sharpen you. Paul told Timothy to pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace “along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
Flee sin. Pursue godliness. Do it with brothers.
Questions for Reflection
How has modern culture’s portrayal of the “lone wolf” shaped your view of masculinity, and how does this contrast with the biblical vision of brotherhood and mission?
In what ways have you experienced the benefits—or the absence—of strong male friendships in your own life? How have these relationships (or lack thereof) impacted your personal growth and sense of purpose?
Proverbs 18:1 warns against isolation, while Proverbs 27:17 speaks of iron sharpening iron. How can you cultivate relationships with men who will not only support you but also challenge and correct you in meaningful ways?